She will be greatly missed

Last week a dear friend to me had passed away.  She said she wanted the pain to stop.  I had no idea that she had those thoughts in her head.  I wish i could have spent some more time with her i loved her alot!  I became friends with her when i was seeing her brother lol after we broke up i always said the only good thing i got out of that relationship was sammy!  The funeral for her was last weekend it was unreal to see her laying there not moving she was so life like i was waiting for her to wake up.  At the same time it just didn't seem like sammy cuzz of what she had on and her make up she never had make up no exsept for eye liner.  It freaked me out how life like they made her look.  I cried so much that day and the days before and after and still today when writing this!  She was a beautiful person and anyone who new her loved her!  I can only hope that she found whatever she was looking for............

The Music on here now.... is in the remembrance of sammy..... I love you sammy...........  

Evil Clouds!

So we had a pretty nice storm a few weekends ago and I'm just talking about it now (wow am i behind on things) any way.  We had this storm and it was just me and Sid.  Jeremy was at a friends house and i was at home freaking out!  Ok so i hate storms and i hate lighting and I was freaking out cuzz the county right next to us was under a tornado warring and we have now were to go if there is a tornado cuzz we live on the second floor and there is no place to go!  No basement, no designated place to go in case of a tornado, just hold your head between your legs and kiss your ass good bye!  Its a good thing we are friends with the down stairs people though cuzz I'm sure if there was one they would lets us in witch dose make me feel a bit better...... but not much!  Any ways there was this bad storm I'm freaking out and a huge thing oh lighting hits really close and scares the crap out of me and i scream! (A little of background info. on me i have been not even 2o feet away from a transformer OUT SIDE when a lighting bolt hit it and it blew up!  hence why light scares the crap out of me) Thank god for my sister she talk to me on the phone and helped me stay calm till it passed.  I love you Stefy!  Hear are some pics of the evil clouds!  I SWEAR THE FIST ONE LOOKS LIKE AN EVIL FACE LOL! EVIL CLOUDS!

Fun Times!

Ok so ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you i was the last one to ever want kids!  I even wrote a hole paper in, get this... chilled development on why i shouldn't have kids or want to rays them, But as soon as i saw my baby girl for the first time there was a love for her that i didn't even know existed, and now every day is better then the next! Sure sometimes Sid mess with stuff and i get upset, but then she comes over buy me and lays her head on my lap, and it melts my heart!  I just couldn't even think about life with out her!  I guess its just in my blood.  I mean my mom was, and still is the best mom ever, and i love her so much.  I can only hope that one day Sid will feel about me, as i feel about my mom, that would be the greatest thing to me!

Now here are some cute pics of Sid at the park a few weekends ago!  She had a fun time even though she doesn't look it on the swing! lol

Sid has lately had this thing for sticks she like to pick them up and carry them around and sooner or latter try to well eat them.

Drinking some water after all that play!

Sunny Days!

Spring has finally sprung!  The days are warming and the sun is shining (well not all the time we have a lot of showers coming our way) it just puts me in a good mood and helps to me forget for a bit about all the crap going wrong in my life!

Fresh Air

Last weekend was beautiful so are friends had a cook out and we came with sid.  It was her 1st real time outside sense last year when she was just a new born and she wasn't really able to enjoy it.  It was fun. She was a bit freaked out at fist by how the ground felt, and was a little unsure about walking on an uneven surface, but she got the hang of it.  She discovered the dead leaves and try to eat them and then it was all she wanted to do from there on out.  Sure she wont eat her turkey and gravy baby food but dead leave and dirt must be yummy cuzz she started to get mad at us cuzz we wouldn't let her eat it!  Oh ya she got some good hand fulls in there mmmm yummy dirt!  I know she going to be the bug eater you know that one kid in you class that would eat dirt and bugs yup that going to be my baby lol! but the fresh air did her good she slept really well that night, and the next day after i gave her a bath she was laying on the couch between me and jeremy for a good half an hour just zoneing till jeremy had to move so i picked her up and put her in my arms and she just fell asleep! She hadn't done that sense she was a newborn!  It made my heart melt!

Mommies little helper

So i was baking some yummy muffins and sidney wanted to help.  She wouldn't play in her pack&play so i put her in the kitchen with me so i could keep an eye on her, and gave her a spoon a pot and a measuring cup and let her bake with me lol.  She was so cute and quite happy just siting there and playing with what i gave her. No need for any loud, fancy, toys just a spoon, pot, and measuring cup. 

well needed time

A few weekends ago me and sid got some well needed family time!  I was feeling like i was at a breaking point so i was really happy that Easter was coming cuzz it meant i was going to be able to see most of my family!  A lot of my family hadn't seen sid for quite a bit like from before she was crawling and she had changed so much!  And i was really missing my sis!  Sid got to play with leila her cuzz and that was well lets say interesting lol. But anyways it was well need and I have been feeling much better now! Plus i started a new job another photo place but I'm hopeing  things turn out better then the last one.

(she like to help with the dishes don't worry she is being well watched)

Could this be the beginning of the end?

So we have been having some crazzy weather and I think that means spring is coming! YHEA!  Ok so sunday night it rained and we had thunder storms, road flooding and our power went out then, overnight that rain froze and turned into snow.  Monday it snowed for a bit till the sun came out then most of that new snow melted.  I really hope this means spring is just around the corner!

Oh and here is some new news about sid.  So her new thing now is when you say bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, she bounces and laughs so hard!  Its the funniest and cutest thing ever!  

Oh and last year around this time i bought my niece leila a little green frog that when your squeezed it, it would ribit.  Well she got a kick out of it my sis told me it was her fav. toy until one day the dog eat it lol.  But i was out shopping yesterday, and saw the same frog so i got to for sid.  And she loves it she caries it around with her as she crawls.  If she hears it she will crawl over to where it is.  Its so funny that they have the same taste!

more snow:(

More snow will it ever end?  This is the second time this week i have had to miss work cuzz of weather!  Sunday i couldn't cuzz it was too cold and my car wouldn't start, and now cuzz of the snow!  My babysitter couldn't watch sid today so my mom was going to take her, but cuzz of the snow my mom was to scared to drive out by me.  I was scared for her to drive too cuzz she doesn't have a cell so if something happened to her or sid i wouldn't know!  I couldn't live with myself if something would happen to my mom or sid cuzz of me!  So i told her not to come out, and i just wouldn't go to work witch suck cuzz i need the money but oh well my family comes fist! Heres some pic of the evil, pretty snow!

Keep in mind that car at the end had no snow just a few hours ago!  And that this stuff isn't done yet!

Guitar lessons

Sid loves, loves, LOVES, the guitar!  If she is doing something else and someone starts playing the guitar, she will stop what she is doing and go over by them to watch and try to play too!  She has been surrounded by music since before she was born and as i said before jeremy has high hopes for her! 

sids new fave. toy

It's funny sid has so many toys!  I mean soooo many toys!  And yet her fave. things to play with are empty water bottles, her blue bowl, and the cat carrier lol.  She's so funny she can sit there and put the bowl on her head take it off put it on take it off all day lol.  she will try to put it on your head and try to take if off of your head she loves that bowl lol. and when im on the computer she will sit on the ground, open the cat carrier door, shut it, open it, shut it.  It's so amazing lol.

Global warming whata?

So here we go again snow, snow, and yes more snow!  Yes while it is pretty to look at enough is enough i saw 3 cars in the ditch on my way home from work with in 2 miles of each other, thats NUTS!  I cringe everyday i have to drive in this stuff, mostly if i have sid, it scares the crap out of me!  I'm soooooo ready for spring, you have no idea!

my mission today

My mission today is to 1. start or finish up to now of sid's scrapbook of her 1st year.  2. give sid a bath.  3. clean the bathroom.  4. get sid happy, fed, and ready for bed.  and   5. have a little r&r for myself.  Jeremy my boyfriend and baby daddy is at another gig this weekend, so its just me and her! Heres some of the scrapbook so far and what my table looks like cuzz of it lol.

here are some of the pages its just a sneak peek lol

this is the back inside cover so when you are done looking at the scrapbook its just a collage for sid!


and that is my table as it looks of now i will have to have it clean by the time jeremy gets home or hill freak lol!

MOMMY!!!!!!

So right now I'm trying to fill out job application and sid is crawling all around my legs and playing with stuff she shouldn't and putting things in her mouth she shouldn't and right now in protest kicking my chair!  She wants to be held she doesn't want to be held.  She wants down she doesn't want down.  She's driven me crazzy, only cuzz I'm trying to get something done...... i still lover there though!

Spending the day together

While daddy is away maria and sidney will play..... well inside that is.  It's much to cold and snowy to go outside today.  Jeremy has a gig tonight and we couldn't get a babysitter to look after sid so she and i will be staying home today and spending some good time together!  

She wants to play with everything now and she loves bananas.  It's her fav. treat! Witch is really funny because i hate bananas!  She stood up today all by herself with out holding on to anything it was only for a few seconds but thats still pretty big to me, she not even 8 months yet!  She also figured out how to stick out her tongue she does it all the time and now when you stick out yours at her she will stick out hers at you its too cute!

  

my family :)

These are pictures of my family i got done at work.  Sidney was six months at the time and was just able to sit up and crawl a bit.  Now she seven months coming close to eight and she can pull herself up on things and stand and crawls way to fast.  She is changing to fast!