She will be greatly missed

Last week a dear friend to me had passed away.  She said she wanted the pain to stop.  I had no idea that she had those thoughts in her head.  I wish i could have spent some more time with her i loved her alot!  I became friends with her when i was seeing her brother lol after we broke up i always said the only good thing i got out of that relationship was sammy!  The funeral for her was last weekend it was unreal to see her laying there not moving she was so life like i was waiting for her to wake up.  At the same time it just didn't seem like sammy cuzz of what she had on and her make up she never had make up no exsept for eye liner.  It freaked me out how life like they made her look.  I cried so much that day and the days before and after and still today when writing this!  She was a beautiful person and anyone who new her loved her!  I can only hope that she found whatever she was looking for............

The Music on here now.... is in the remembrance of sammy..... I love you sammy...........  

Evil Clouds!

So we had a pretty nice storm a few weekends ago and I'm just talking about it now (wow am i behind on things) any way.  We had this storm and it was just me and Sid.  Jeremy was at a friends house and i was at home freaking out!  Ok so i hate storms and i hate lighting and I was freaking out cuzz the county right next to us was under a tornado warring and we have now were to go if there is a tornado cuzz we live on the second floor and there is no place to go!  No basement, no designated place to go in case of a tornado, just hold your head between your legs and kiss your ass good bye!  Its a good thing we are friends with the down stairs people though cuzz I'm sure if there was one they would lets us in witch dose make me feel a bit better...... but not much!  Any ways there was this bad storm I'm freaking out and a huge thing oh lighting hits really close and scares the crap out of me and i scream! (A little of background info. on me i have been not even 2o feet away from a transformer OUT SIDE when a lighting bolt hit it and it blew up!  hence why light scares the crap out of me) Thank god for my sister she talk to me on the phone and helped me stay calm till it passed.  I love you Stefy!  Hear are some pics of the evil clouds!  I SWEAR THE FIST ONE LOOKS LIKE AN EVIL FACE LOL! EVIL CLOUDS!

Fun Times!

Ok so ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you i was the last one to ever want kids!  I even wrote a hole paper in, get this... chilled development on why i shouldn't have kids or want to rays them, But as soon as i saw my baby girl for the first time there was a love for her that i didn't even know existed, and now every day is better then the next! Sure sometimes Sid mess with stuff and i get upset, but then she comes over buy me and lays her head on my lap, and it melts my heart!  I just couldn't even think about life with out her!  I guess its just in my blood.  I mean my mom was, and still is the best mom ever, and i love her so much.  I can only hope that one day Sid will feel about me, as i feel about my mom, that would be the greatest thing to me!

Now here are some cute pics of Sid at the park a few weekends ago!  She had a fun time even though she doesn't look it on the swing! lol

Sid has lately had this thing for sticks she like to pick them up and carry them around and sooner or latter try to well eat them.

Drinking some water after all that play!

Sunny Days!

Spring has finally sprung!  The days are warming and the sun is shining (well not all the time we have a lot of showers coming our way) it just puts me in a good mood and helps to me forget for a bit about all the crap going wrong in my life!

Fresh Air

Last weekend was beautiful so are friends had a cook out and we came with sid.  It was her 1st real time outside sense last year when she was just a new born and she wasn't really able to enjoy it.  It was fun. She was a bit freaked out at fist by how the ground felt, and was a little unsure about walking on an uneven surface, but she got the hang of it.  She discovered the dead leaves and try to eat them and then it was all she wanted to do from there on out.  Sure she wont eat her turkey and gravy baby food but dead leave and dirt must be yummy cuzz she started to get mad at us cuzz we wouldn't let her eat it!  Oh ya she got some good hand fulls in there mmmm yummy dirt!  I know she going to be the bug eater you know that one kid in you class that would eat dirt and bugs yup that going to be my baby lol! but the fresh air did her good she slept really well that night, and the next day after i gave her a bath she was laying on the couch between me and jeremy for a good half an hour just zoneing till jeremy had to move so i picked her up and put her in my arms and she just fell asleep! She hadn't done that sense she was a newborn!  It made my heart melt!

Mommies little helper

So i was baking some yummy muffins and sidney wanted to help.  She wouldn't play in her pack&play so i put her in the kitchen with me so i could keep an eye on her, and gave her a spoon a pot and a measuring cup and let her bake with me lol.  She was so cute and quite happy just siting there and playing with what i gave her. No need for any loud, fancy, toys just a spoon, pot, and measuring cup. 

well needed time

A few weekends ago me and sid got some well needed family time!  I was feeling like i was at a breaking point so i was really happy that Easter was coming cuzz it meant i was going to be able to see most of my family!  A lot of my family hadn't seen sid for quite a bit like from before she was crawling and she had changed so much!  And i was really missing my sis!  Sid got to play with leila her cuzz and that was well lets say interesting lol. But anyways it was well need and I have been feeling much better now! Plus i started a new job another photo place but I'm hopeing  things turn out better then the last one.

(she like to help with the dishes don't worry she is being well watched)